changehistory: (Upset/looking down)
Another day in this carnival of souls
Another night's sands end as quickly as it goes
The memories are shadows, ink on the page
And I can't seem to find my way home

And it's almost like your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out

All the places I've been and things I've seen
A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams
The faces of people I'll never see again
And I can't seem to find my way home

'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to break me down
'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to keep me out

'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to break me down
'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down
To break me down, to break me down

Your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down

~ Five Finger Death Punch - "Far From Home"
changehistory: (OOC - Mr. Monroe is busy)
Because this one has been spread out over 6 journals and Adam, Melissa and Lydia, at least, Tweet from it rather frequently, I thought I'd set out the basics of what's gone down and where everyone's at now, 'cause I've gotten a few, "..o.O?" from folks. :-) Yes, it's very AU.

This verse was created basically when three separate PSLs converged, because it occurred to us all that they fit together pretty well.

Adam - [ profile] changehistory (Twitter: @changehistory)
Peter - [ profile] hadtobeahero (No Twitter, the lazy bum)
Sylar - [ profile] heroslayer (Twitter: @selfnamedman)
Melissa - [ profile] capturedworlds (Twitter: @capturedworlds)
Samuel - [ profile] offering_hope (Twitter: @anofferofhope)
Lydia - [ profile] thepainted_lady (Twitter: @thepainted_lady)

Adam & Peter )

Sylar & Melissa )

Samuel & Lydia )

I think that's the highlights?
changehistory: (You have GOT to be kidding me)
His own empathy really was enough.

[ooc: ...applies for any 'verse where Peter's picked up Lydia's ability. Or Melissa's, actually, for that matter. LOL]
changehistory: ([Peter] - fear me love me do as I say)
You felt the coldness in my eyes,
It's something I'm not revealing.
Though you got used to my disguise,
You can't shake this awful feeling.

It's the me that I let you know,
Cause' I'll never show,
I have my reasons.
I hate to say that I told you so,
But I told you so.

There's blood on my hands like the blood in you.
Some things can't be treated so,
Don't make me, Don't make me be myself around you.

For long stretches of time, it's easy to hide, to slip into the mask he's crafted for the younger man. Peter makes it easy to smile, after all, to let the lighter side of his personality slip out. His faith, his belief in humanity, even after so many times of seeing darkness, is light a beacon shining in the shadows of Adam's world, and for a time it's easy to cling to that, to use it as a guiding light to steer his way. He laughs, he jokes, he lets the cynicism slide and the centuries slip away as if they aren't dragging him down into some darker abyss of his own creating.

Sometimes he even wants so badly to be that mask, to slip it on permanently, and he wonders if he wears it long enough if it will be truth. Then something happens, some word rubs over his temper or some news article reminds him of too many memories dragging at his consciousness, or he wakes shaking from one of the constant nightmares that lives in his mind, and the shadows rise up again. Dreams of blood, dreams of destruction, dreams of glory, dreams of what should be, dreams of vengeance. He remembers what could and should be, and he wonders why this naive boy cannot see it, cannot see him, and temper flares again, ice cold and cutting in its boundless fury. Sometimes just a moment, sometimes longer, but it has to run its course before he can wrap himself back into the guise of the warm, congenial lover again.

Most times he tries to hide it from Peter, but others...others there's a reckless desire to see just what he'll let him get away with, how much of him he can handle.

He fears the answer is not enough.

Straight from your eyes it's barely me.
Beautifully so disfigured.
This other side that you can't see,
Just praying you won't remember.

Feel the pain that I never show,
And I hope you know,
It's never healing.
I hate to say that I told you so, but I told you so.

There's blood on my hands like the blood in you.
Some things can't be treated so,
Don't make me, Don't make me be myself around you.

How Peter has forgiven him, he already cannot understand. What he did was not something Peter can forgive, he thinks, not really. He seems to have accepted it, though, and Adam wonders if Peter thinks he believes it was wrong, that Adam has seen the errors of his ways, repented, been redeemed. Is it repentance that earns forgiveness, and would that acceptance even be stripped away if the boy knew how he ached for what was loss and the chances that slipped away.

He isn't broken, he protests, but he knows that's not true, and there are pieces of him lost in time that can't ever be put back together. Too much loss, too many betrayals, too many broken dreams, too much anger, too much hate. Not even Peter's light can heal it all, even if it is a soothing balm. If the boy ever realized...ever knew...ever really saw...

Adam is sure he'd lose him, lose all they have, lose the one sanctuary where he thinks, perhaps, he can rest, and at least pretend to be like them. Understanding doesn't come easy, and he doubts it's sincerity in the face of the full truth, so he keeps the carefully crafted mask. He says the right things, expresses the right emotions, tries to be the person Peter believes him to be, needs him to be. Maybe if he keeps it up, one day he'll believe it, as well.

But Peter pokes, pries, tries to make him open up, be more authentic, let him in, let him see the man behind the mask, and Adam is forced to wonder if his memory is just that short-term or if he really doesn't understand just how tragic that would be for the both of them. Because the day Peter really realizes the man he's let into his life and heart is the day Adam's sure will be their last.
changehistory: (A man in the shadows)
[ooc: Peter is [ profile] hadtobeahero, Sylar is [ profile] heroslayer and both are used with love and permission. Melissa is [ profile] capturedworlds and mine to use as I please. Companion piece to this.]

"We should go to Baltimore," Adam announced, not looking up from where he was stretched across the bed on his stomach, looking at the laptop.

"Um, why?" Peter asked, blinking as he looked over at him from where he'd been putting the laundry away. "What with it being right next to D.C. and have some sort of plan?" There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes along with wariness. Adam's plans weren't exactly something to immediately get excited about, after all, but if it got Nathan and Danko off their backs, or, better yet, talked some sense into Nathan...

"What?" Adam glanced up, a frown on his face for a moment, then shook his head. "Oh, no. Nothing like this. We should go for this." He spun the computer around so Peter could see it.

After coming over to read the webpage, Peter glanced up at Adam incredulously. "FaerieCon? You want to go to Baltimore in order to spend a weekend with people running around dressed up like fairies, going to seminars about fairies and shopping for...fairy stuff?"

"There are two masquerade balls, too," Adam pointed out helpfully, giving him an angelic smile.

Peter just stared at him.

Adam's smile faltered. "What?"

"Have you lost your mind?"

Adam scowled, spinning the laptop back around to himself. "No."


"I've never been to a convention of any sort besides a business one."

"Okay," Peter said cautiously, clearly still trying to work out what was going on. "They can be fun, I guess, but, um...I'm not sure now is really the time?"

"Then when?" Adam asked.

"We have eternity, you keep pointing out."

"But I want to go now."


"I'm bored."

Peter paused at that. If he'd learned anything, it was to take those two words very, very seriously when Adam uttered them. Bored Adam tended to be dangerous Adam who came up with plans to drastically change things in which people stood a good chance of getting hurt.

"I know we haven't seen a lot of action lately..."

"No, we haven't," Adam said, with a bit of a scowl.

Peter sighed. "Why this?"

"Because I've never done it. Do you know how few things I can say that about?" Adam glanced back up at him.

Peter looked like he wasn't sure he trusted the guilelessness in those blue eyes in the least. "Baltimore's really not the best place for us, Adam..."

"We'll be fine. Besides, the people hosting the Con did the art design and goblins for Labyrinth," Adam said, as if that concluded the discussion.

"So?" Peter asked.

"...It was a really good movie."

"You barely paid any attention to the movie. You just liked David Bowie's tights."

"Peter, anyone with any sense in the world appreciated David Bowie's tights in that movie." Adam gave him a look, arching an eyebrow.

Peter looked like he was contemplating banging his head on something. )
changehistory: (Adorable modern smile)
[ profile] lifetimedreamer: Return of the Jedi film cell
Star Wars USB drive
Yoda slippers
Okay, yes. After being all romantic for Peter's birthday, he's being a bit of a dork...

[ profile] hadtobeahero: (s3 Fixed) Travel journal - something to start keeping track of things. It's a good idea for forever.
(For s3Fixed & Lord what fools) Platinum poesy promise ring inscribed with vous el nul autre "You and none other"

[ profile] not_myfirstday Handpainted rainbow scarf.
A spa day to pamper herself after having to go through all the ups and downs of first trimester. No water immersion treatments, obviously.
Cute black boots, sans heel, so she can still feel fashionable while not causing her back to ache any more than shifting center of gravity is already doing.
And maybe, okay, possibly, if it's important to her, they can go bail the idiots in America out of their latest mess.

[ profile] snarky_blonde Hand painted floral batik scarf.

Merry Christmas, loves.
changehistory: ([Peter] -- Here we go again)
It might be the Christmas season, but this is one day Adam takes out of his holiday festivities to celebrate the birth of someone he finds far more special than Christ--however sacrilegious that might sound.
changehistory: ([Peter] Out by car)
Hot Air Balloon Ride over the Hudson Valley for Two - I know it might seem a bit mundane after flying, but how often did you really just get to float and look at the world? I thought you could use a chance to really relax and enjoy the experience, especially after the last year.

Happy Birthday.

changehistory: (Fallen hero)
He'd come through betrayal, imprisonment, torture, defeat, even the grave, and was still here, watching in grim satisfaction as one by one the rest of them fell.
changehistory: ([Peter]-- persuasion/follow me)
Whatever it takes, however he has to twist himself for now to win his way back to where he wants to be, no matter how frustrating he finds biting his tongue when he hears rumors of what's going on in their world, Adam does what needs doing to keep Peter by his side, holding one thought ever at the forefront of his mind--he has time on his side.
changehistory: ([Peter] split screen)
He's never had a chance at happily ever after before, and now that he does, he'll do anything to keep it, no matter the cost to himself--or to others.
changehistory: (Eyebrow arch)
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
changehistory goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a pirate.
deep_red_bells gives you 17 light green cinnamon-flavoured jawbreakers.
hadtobeahero gives you 17 light yellow blueberry-flavoured jawbreakers.
heroslayer tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
humanmapquest gives you 1 orange coconut-flavoured gummy bats.
its_notluck gives you 2 green strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
mapetrelli tricks you! You lose 34 pieces of candy!
not_myfirstday gives you 7 mauve cola-flavoured wafers.
notacargojet tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
powered_otaku tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
youngerpetrelli gives you 13 mauve grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats.
changehistory ends up with 18 pieces of candy, and a toothbrush.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

...That was just mean, Angela...
changehistory: ([Angela] [Peter] Hallelujah)
It's not something he can ever say aloud for fear of offending them both, and the complexity of the emotion is impossible to capture in words anyway, but part of the draw will forever be the ghost of her he sees reflecting back at him from Peter's eyes.
changehistory: ([Peter] Kissage)
He's developed a knack for two things: knowing when Adam's growing restless and impatient, teetering on the verge of plotting some new disaster to "fix" it all and knowing how to remind him of all the reasons to put such plots aside.
changehistory: ([Peter] Out by car)
He could rule the world if he set his mind to it again, formulate a new plan and tie freshly made puppets to strings he works with a master's skill until they're pleased to dance to his tune, but he stays his hand for the sake of a smile and wonders when he developed such an easily exploitable weakness.


Feb. 10th, 2009 12:53 pm
changehistory: (Are you kidding me?)

Why, exactly, is Television Without Pity listing you as one of TV's Most Eligible Bachelors?

Clearly I need to have a talk with them about the definition of "bachelor."

I don't expect that conversation to go...pleasantly for them.
changehistory: ([Peter] -- Healing)
[ooc: Peter referred to is [ profile] hadtobeahero and used with permission]

What it is that pulls him from the sleep he finally managed to fall into, Adam can't say. The fragment of a nightmare, of satin lining or cold eyes or the wheezing sound of a tube in a throat; or a creak as the house settles around them, shifting with age like the grandmother he barely remembers used to in the chair by the fire before everything went to Hell; or the first light of dawn slipping through the shutters and blinds to dance through the dust mites in the air that never go away even when you clean thoroughly. It could be one or all or none, but he shifts in a moment from sleep to waking, breath catching and aware that something is different.

His arms aren't empty. The bed isn't cold next to him. In the space of the heartbeat that realization hits, memory comes as well, and his lips curve in a small smile as he shifts slowly to steal a glance at the sleeping boy next to him. The shadows that have hung over him aren't apparent while he's sleeping. What he's been through, what they did to could just be another nightmare in the peaceful dawn as his eyes roam over the lines of his face like he's never quite seen him before. To be honest, he never allowed himself the luxury of looking. He had a mission, a focus, a target, and Peter had a purpose in it and he couldn't allow long lashes and a crooked smile from lips he wanted to taste divert him from it. But now...

Now everything's different. They're different, both of them tried and tested with new scars no one can see. Peter's changed, and Adam knows he hasn't even scratched the surface of how deep the months have wounded him, or guessed how many pieces he might have broken into. But he's still beautiful, and now he can look his fill, Adam decides, shifting up on one elbow. Reaching out fingers he brushes them through Peter's hair, careful not to wake him, smiling at how rumpled he looks in his T-shirt, burrowed in the covers. He's still stunned that he stayed, knowing what he knows now, knowing the lies for what they were. He still came to him, and he stayed, and Adam can't quite wrap his mind around that.

He doesn't know if he can trust him, given who he is, but, then, he's fairly certain Peter feels the same, given what Adam's done. Arthur might be dead, but Angela's still out there, and while the threat isn't the same, she's still a potential force to be reckoned with, and Adam has no mind to see the inside of a cage again. Hiro could show up at any moment, if he found them, furious Adam ran off, and with Peter near-powerless, what could he do to stop him? He'd do far, far better to just fully disappear. Take a new name, learn Swedish, move to Stockholm--that almost makes him laugh for a moment--and wait out the next fifty years in peace. He gambled, he lost, he almost lost too much, but he's got his freedom...

And he's got a sleeping, broken boy curled up in his bed, who stayed when he asked him to stay, who's been turned on and betrayed by everyone else, who needs him, and, for some reason he cannot fathom, wants him, and, well, if there is one thing Adam thrives on it is being needed and wanted. Snuggling back down in the bed, he curls closer to Peter with a bit of a sigh, pressing close to the warmth of his sleeping form. He should run, but he can't, and he prays to anyone who might still be listening as he presses a kiss to his shoulder that he isn't setting them both up for another fall.


changehistory: (Default)
Adam Monroe

February 2014

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