changehistory: (Hiro -- Betrayal)
It started out so very innocent. We were both young, both longing for adventure, and together we found it. Something new--a chance for him to live out the stories he heard as a child, and for me to find some meaning in my life again after I had lost everything. It was friendship, it was camaraderie, it was something I had never expected to experience, to feel, again.

But then it changed, and it got dark, and he betrayed me, and I betrayed him, and I made a vow, a promise. I swore that as long as I lived, I would lay waste to everything he held dear. That he would suffer.

It was...I cannot say, truly, if it could have been mended, then, or not, but whatever might have come--he left. He left and the stories grew of Kensei and his princess, lies woven with truth to make a tale far prettier than the real one. And I went on, and I let the betrayal and the hatred and the anger become so much a part of me I sometimes wonder if they can be undone, even with the vast expanse of time stretching out before me.

I killed his father. He buried me alive. We're bound together, destinies entwining, and even when he is dead and gone, I doubt that I will be free of it.

From Peter

Jun. 18th, 2008 07:48 pm
changehistory: (I'm *not* a bad guy....)
I am not: evil.
I love: a chosen few.
I hate: what's becoming of the world.
I fear: anonymity.
I hope: for a better future.
I hear: the sound of the kittens purring
I crave: understanding.
I regret: nothing.
I cry: rarely.
I care: more than people think I do.
I always: keep hoping.
I believe: in myself.
I feel alone: always.
I listen: to my instincts.
I hide: from no one and everyone.
I drive: a very fast car.
I sing: at the bar.
I dance: quite well, but not often enough.
I write: letters I never send to people who no longer care to receive them.
I play: a lot of games.
I miss: my family.
I search: for the way to fix it.
I learn: constantly. Life is about learning.
I feel: ...old.
I know: that I have things to teach, if people would choose to listen and learn.
I say: things no one else is willing to.
I succeed: when I remember who I am.
I dream: of peace on a new earth.
I wonder: what went differently in that world.
I want: to not be alone.
I have: my sword back.
I give: them something to believe in.
I fell: for the one person who can stop me.
I fight: my darker impulses.
I need: to be loved.,
changehistory: (Hiro --More than a friend)
It was all he could concentrate on, truly. Just today, just this breath, just this moment.

If he thought about the past, he could feel the coffin still, close around him. Reaching back he found the cold air on a rooftop, the shock in brown eyes, the fall, the crash, the smell and feel of blood and pain. Further, there were thirty years, the taste of betrayal as father followed in his son's footsteps. There was a reverse legacy there that shadowed his centuries, stretching out its arm to touch everything he tried to do.

If he thought of the future, he felt a tremor of fear run over him. There was too much history, too much darkness, too much they had to overcome. Betrayal, death, darkness, loss. They couldn't go back to those times when they just were together in the sun, in an unspoiled world, with Hiro's hero worship, and his struggling to be the man the boy saw when he looked at him. They could simulate it, perhaps, but they couldn't really go back. He wasn't Kensei anymore, and the things he'd done had changed the boy he knew when he was, in just a short time. He'd driven Hiro to do things that he could feel shattering that sweet, enthusiastic soul. If he looked too far in the future, followed the lines of the changes that could happen...it was the same shadow with no sense of how to change it.

So he concentrated on today. On now. On the rise and fall of Hiro's chest as he slept fitfully next to him. On getting through the day without lashing out, hurting him again. On staying, not walking out the door and away from the tangled mess they were together. On not taking the final step, for either of them.

It was all he could do, and if he let himself think about tomorrow at all, he only allowed it to be a prayer that it would go as well as today.
changehistory: (Deadly)
All verses:

1. My father's desertion.
2. The things Stephen and I let gentlemen do to us to put food on the table.
3. Losing Stephen.
3. Hiro. And Yaeko. And Hiro.
4. Wanting to release the virus. Twice.
5. Thirty years in captivity in the Company cells and adjusting on the outside, as it were, and what they did to me in those thirty years, though I doubt there are many therapists who could stomach it.
6. Being buried alive.

Cut for specific therapist issues by RP 'Verse )
changehistory: (Wounds aren't healing)
My vengeance will rip apart the foundation of the world.

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Adam Monroe

February 2014

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