Adam Monroe (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
changehistory) wrote2008-06-13 01:16 pm
changehistory) wrote2008-06-13 01:16 pm
Entry tags:
[MTM] June Prompt -- Defining vendettas from the depths of betrayal...
Prompts Combined:
- Vendetta
- What was your most defining moment in your life?
- Have you ever been betrayed by someone you love dearly? Write about that.
...The most defining moment of my life was the time I was betrayed by someone I love dearly and subsequently launched a vendetta that crossed centuries.
I'm sorry, it had to be said.
Our defining moments often come very young, do they not? There may be others that make their marks upon our soul and shape us in some way or another, but to define who we are, to truly fashion us into something new altogether...we must be malleable, and that malleability is something that we lose as we age. I wish I could say that it was Angelica's love, our marriage, the home we built, but she was a reprieve in a storm. Perhaps it was that first that set the pattern, molding it, for it has repeated itself again and again across time.
I loved them both, for all that I could not define the emotion in his case. They both said they loved me. And yet...the betrayal came. I thought I was invincible, only to find that the physical was merely an illusion, because the emotional wounds are just as damaging and far harder to heal from.
I never thought it possible to be anyone of consequence. I wanted to never be poor, to be hungry again -- and any likeness to Scarlett O'Hara you want to draw from that, you may as she was a character I understood well. I wanted to make my fortune, and I quickly turned and frittered it away on the pleasures of the moment. I had no overweening ambition. I had no need to forge myself into a legend of greatness.
And then he came, and he gave me that dream, and he set that course. He made me believe I could be--should be--so much more. Then he took it all away, casting me down into the depths of meaninglessness which I had lived in for so long. If he had lied about the one thing, then what was there to say he had not lied about the rest? Except I had been touched, you see, by ambition, by desire, by need. It twisted under the lying deceit, the schooling I received in what the face of a hero hides. To be cast aside, yet again, nothing but his pawn...I swore never again. I promised myself I would be all he said and more, whatever it took, and that he would suffer for his betrayal, if I had to wait until the end of time itself.
So I have striven, and that has led me here, to what I am today, to who I am today. It has shaped everything, every goal, every dream, every hope, every fear...and for all the moments that have defined me in other ways, I am not convinced it can truly be changed at this late date.
Nor am I sure I would wish it to be.
- Vendetta
- What was your most defining moment in your life?
- Have you ever been betrayed by someone you love dearly? Write about that.
...The most defining moment of my life was the time I was betrayed by someone I love dearly and subsequently launched a vendetta that crossed centuries.
I'm sorry, it had to be said.
Our defining moments often come very young, do they not? There may be others that make their marks upon our soul and shape us in some way or another, but to define who we are, to truly fashion us into something new altogether...we must be malleable, and that malleability is something that we lose as we age. I wish I could say that it was Angelica's love, our marriage, the home we built, but she was a reprieve in a storm. Perhaps it was that first that set the pattern, molding it, for it has repeated itself again and again across time.
I loved them both, for all that I could not define the emotion in his case. They both said they loved me. And yet...the betrayal came. I thought I was invincible, only to find that the physical was merely an illusion, because the emotional wounds are just as damaging and far harder to heal from.
I never thought it possible to be anyone of consequence. I wanted to never be poor, to be hungry again -- and any likeness to Scarlett O'Hara you want to draw from that, you may as she was a character I understood well. I wanted to make my fortune, and I quickly turned and frittered it away on the pleasures of the moment. I had no overweening ambition. I had no need to forge myself into a legend of greatness.
And then he came, and he gave me that dream, and he set that course. He made me believe I could be--should be--so much more. Then he took it all away, casting me down into the depths of meaninglessness which I had lived in for so long. If he had lied about the one thing, then what was there to say he had not lied about the rest? Except I had been touched, you see, by ambition, by desire, by need. It twisted under the lying deceit, the schooling I received in what the face of a hero hides. To be cast aside, yet again, nothing but his pawn...I swore never again. I promised myself I would be all he said and more, whatever it took, and that he would suffer for his betrayal, if I had to wait until the end of time itself.
So I have striven, and that has led me here, to what I am today, to who I am today. It has shaped everything, every goal, every dream, every hope, every fear...and for all the moments that have defined me in other ways, I am not convinced it can truly be changed at this late date.
Nor am I sure I would wish it to be.