changehistory: ([Hiro] --More than a friend)
"Your worst enemy could be your best friend, and your best friend your worst enemy." - Bob Marley

Three hundred and fortyish years was a very long time to carry something--a grudge, a hurt, a remorse, a hope. It didn't matter what, really, except that it lay there inside of him, fine for a decade or so, and then flaring up with a flash of pain so searing that it was clear time was not taking the edge off of anything. Everything had gone so wrong. For the first time in his life, he'd known what it meant to be someone to someone else, to be admired, to be a friend, to have a mission--a purpose. He'd belonged, even as an outsider in a country that was never going to be his, when he could no longer bring himself to return to his own. Had he overreacted? Undoubtedly, if it were about the girl, but gods. It was never about the girl, not truly.

"We did make a good team, you and I. You showed me how to be to a hero, how to love... and then you took it all away."

He would never have looked at Yaeko, much, save for Hiro's insistence it was his destiny. If he were truly, desperately, honest--he hadn't been looking much at Yaeko, anyway. The strange young man from the future drew him, with his stories of Kensei and the man he was supposed to be. He didn't have words for what he wanted, not really, not then, or for what he was feeling, but he'd have done--had done--just about anything for him, to get him to smile.

And then he'd taken it all away, ripped off the mask and proven the lie beneath and God, but after so long that shouldn't still sting. Adam wasn't sure he was even angry anymore (though each time he tried to convince himself he wasn't, he felt the words tumbling around like all the other lies in his head). But he wasn't angry about Yaeko. He was angry about...he didn't have the words for it, not really, not until the moment he watched Hiro marry Claire, and felt that snapping line in his head that slipped around and hit with a sting that hurt more than it should have after so long, after so many loves in between, after finding someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life--what an amazing concept, that--with.

He hadn't been good enough, he thought. And for nearly three and a half centuries, the lack of it, the hurt of it, the rejection of it had festered, echoing in each repetition, each betrayal, each loss until it was magnified beyond all measure, and he didn't know how to extricate it anymore. It wasn't all Hiro's fault, not by a long shot. Adam had made his choices, and others' had made theirs, never even knowing of the strange young man yet to be born in some distant future Adam only dreamed about. But somehow, every time he looked at him, it all came crashing back, like some overwhelming sense of failure, of not enough, of all he had to fight back against to be someone, to make something of himself, to prove them all wrong.

The friend had become an enemy, and the enemy had become a symbol, and try as he might Adam didn't know how to turn the symbol back into a friend.
changehistory: ([Angela] [Peter] Hallelujah)
This is potentially the most ridiculous question ever asked. My partner's family...god. My partner's family, you see, turns out to be my family. Or, no, not turns out to be, because...I knew it was a possibility when I started falling in love with him. I knew there was a chance...

And, no, before anyone asks, he and I are not related. There's no blood or DNA we share.

But the situation is...complicated, and it always will be complicated, and I cannot change that. I cannot change what I am, that I am a man who does not age, who moves through time without having it touch me, that I have loved before, and that I loved...that once upon a time I loved his mother. That maybe there is a substantial part of me that still does. I'm not someone who stops loving when I have fallen. We had a child, she and I--his half brother. We have grandchildren--his nieces and nephews. The secrets are out, now, and everyone knows. He has to live with the fact that he's dating his mother's ex, and his brother's father, and "complicated" is actually a very mild word.

Add in the fact that his mother and I haven't exactly had the most...stellar of records for honesty in the past, and that there are more wounds there, and some days I have no idea what the fucking hell he's doing with me. Shall we review, in brief, how I get along with his family? See if it counts as "good terms"?

His mother: We were lovers for near on 14 years. I count her, still, as one of the loves of my life. We plotted to destroy the world together, for purposes we still believe were good ones, though we may have come to disagree on the level of destruction necessary to achieve our purposes. I may have tried to kill her with my pet telepath. She may have told our son how to kill me and that he should do so. I still love her. I'm fairly certain part of her still loves me. I chose him. She accepts that fact. We're speaking. We all got along well for the holidays. On the other hand, I bought her a necklace that cost more than a small house, so I say that might have been a bit over the top, but...all right, all in all, on good terms?

His elder brother: Hated me for ages for using Peter. Threw a few punches. Exchanged more than a few insults. Found out I was his father. Wasn't overly pleased at that at first. Seems to be coming around to the idea, though, and wanting to spend time with me, and lets me see his children and be in their lives, so...I think we're getting there?

His twin: My BFF. Probably feels as uncomfortable as a new member of the family structure as I do, as we were both cast out of it for decades, but, we're coming to terms with it, and though he was royally pissed at me lately for certain...actions I took that weren't all that advisable, we seem to have made up.

His niece: My granddaughter. My protege. She's never really had a problem with me, despite everyone trying to turn her against me for a while. She was the first to realize what we were to each other, to accept me as part of the family, and we've been close for a while, bonded by our mutual ability, one no one else fully grasps, even the others who have acquired them. There's something to it, when it's just yours, when it is what you were born with, and it bonds us.

His nephews: Monty seems to adore me. Ninja swords and pirate stories work well for that. Simon, I'm less certain of, but I don't think he dislikes me...

His nephew-in-law and one of his best friends: Oh dear god, don't get me started. My first love who married my granddaughter; who betrayed me for another; who built me up into believing I was something special to him, then took it away; who buried me alive and left me there to go mad...Honestly, I have no idea what terms we are on from day to day. I have...forgiven as best I am able, and I believe he has, as well, and sometimes I see the glimmer of the friends we once were, but then he married Claire, and now...I do not know again. I can't think about it.

So. It's complicated, but honestly, it isn't so much his family I worry nearly as much about as it is him. How he will take my entanglement in his family's life, the more he thinks about it. If he ever realizes how much his mother meant, and still means, to me. I gave her up, I chose him, and I've no regret there. She and I hurt each other too deeply to ever go back to what we were, before, but what we were...I don't think he knows, and I worry if he ever understands, ever grasps it, ever fully understands it. He's taken so much from me, put up with so much, forgiven so much...

Sometimes I wonder when enough will be enough, and what will be the final straw.
changehistory: ([Hiro] -- Carp)
Fame, riches and acclaim were all compelling motivators, to be sure, but they'd never inspired Kensei toward acts of heroism and bravery the way the adoration in his eyes did.
changehistory: ([Angela] BW)
Enough was enough. He was tired of watching them hurt each other. He was tired of standing back and trying to act like he was disinterested beyond being Claire's roommate and mentor. Nathan was his son. Claire was his granddaughter. They were the only blood relations he had in the fucking world, the only ones he'd had in centuries, and he was tired of seeing them hurt when they had a chance at something so much more.

He'd never asserted any authority with Claire, treating her like an adult, free to do as she pleased, and while he tried to guide her toward better decisions, he'd never laid down the law or rules at the house or anything else. He'd been there when she needed him, tried to show her she could trust him. But this time he'd let his annoyance and worry override that, and, half to his surprise, she'd listened.

Angela had arranged the Nathan side of things, and now he was pacing her living room, waiting for the younger generations to arrive. He wasn't quite certain what to say, but, well.

It was time someone took this family in hand, and if no one else was going to step up to bat to do it, then he damn well would. They were hurting, ripping apart at the seams, all of them, and he couldn't let it continue. He knew they both wanted to fix it, so hopefully there wouldn't be any difficulty, especially after his discussion with Nathan the other night. Hopefully that desire, with some sort of forcing them to face the issues and not retreating would be enough.

Somehow they had to get it right. They deserved that, instead of continuing to suffer for the mistakes of their elders. He had to find a way to make it right, no matter what it cost him.
changehistory: (Hiro -- my carp)
To: Hiro Nakamura [powered_otaku@livejournal.com]
From: Adam Monroe [changehistory1671@gmail.com]
Subject: The Winchesters

Carp,

Am I correct in assuming that you'll be joining in the fight with Sam and Dean? I thought I saw that you had volunteered. Have you gotten your protection from the possession element? At least we figured out how long sharpies work on my skin, yes?

If we're not fighting in the same...be careful, will you? I'd say stay close to me, but you're more effective using your power. But if something happens--find me. I'm bringing a fair amount of syringes. Feel free to spread that word around our compatriots. It's the least I can do.

It'll be just like old times--and I likely should not be this excited about it, should I?

Love,
Kensei
changehistory: (Hiro --More than a friend)
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed


It chased him across centuries, always there in the back of his mind. Through wives and lovers and times alone, it lingered. He named it once in a moment of weakness, drunk in a tavern in some port town, spilling out his secrets to the whore on his lap. Named it with a curse, a lash of fury that put fear in her eyes. Perhaps if he'd aged like other men, caught in one time like he was supposed to be, he would have let it go with a bitter regret for a chance lost, a moment betrayed. He tried, with Helene, to build a life, to move on, to be part of the world like anyone else. But the face in the mirror did not change and when it occurred to him that he was not aging, through the fear and the horror came one small thought.

He could see him again.

It flooded back then, bile in his throat, ache in his heart, hatred that could only come when it was the other side of love. Betrayal only scars when the betrayer was beloved, and it was a lesson he learned well as the years pass and the scar deepened with the knowledge that with every breath he was drawing nearer to the time of reckoning. It haunted his dreams. Oh, there were times it would lie dormant, quieted. When he held his sons, when he laughed with his wife. For nearly 70 years, held in Angelica's arms, he barely thought of him at all except as a passing memory. Love healed some wounds, the surface edges.

But the scar remained.

The time drew nearer, years passing by. The man who called him friend, he was sure, was the man who would bring forth the boy who had done the same. And when the father followed in the son's footsteps, he was not truly surprised. Fury flared again, though, wounds reopening and bleeding fresh blood as the circle drew to its close, the completion, the fulfillment of a promise snarled in anger in a burning tent.

Yet, when it came, somehow it still surprised him. Blood on his hands, flooding a street. Shattered eyes, a sword on the floor, a boy in his way, saddened, broken. Past and future collided and crushed the centuries in between. Love and hatred battled fiercely, and he was left bereft, staring, and not knowing if one would ever truly win or if he would ever truly be free.
changehistory: (Hiro --More than a friend)
It was all he could concentrate on, truly. Just today, just this breath, just this moment.

If he thought about the past, he could feel the coffin still, close around him. Reaching back he found the cold air on a rooftop, the shock in brown eyes, the fall, the crash, the smell and feel of blood and pain. Further, there were thirty years, the taste of betrayal as father followed in his son's footsteps. There was a reverse legacy there that shadowed his centuries, stretching out its arm to touch everything he tried to do.

If he thought of the future, he felt a tremor of fear run over him. There was too much history, too much darkness, too much they had to overcome. Betrayal, death, darkness, loss. They couldn't go back to those times when they just were together in the sun, in an unspoiled world, with Hiro's hero worship, and his struggling to be the man the boy saw when he looked at him. They could simulate it, perhaps, but they couldn't really go back. He wasn't Kensei anymore, and the things he'd done had changed the boy he knew when he was, in just a short time. He'd driven Hiro to do things that he could feel shattering that sweet, enthusiastic soul. If he looked too far in the future, followed the lines of the changes that could happen...it was the same shadow with no sense of how to change it.

So he concentrated on today. On now. On the rise and fall of Hiro's chest as he slept fitfully next to him. On getting through the day without lashing out, hurting him again. On staying, not walking out the door and away from the tangled mess they were together. On not taking the final step, for either of them.

It was all he could do, and if he let himself think about tomorrow at all, he only allowed it to be a prayer that it would go as well as today.
changehistory: (Wounds aren't healing)
ooc: Otherwise known as what Bria did while stuck at airport waiting after plane broke down.



Or you can download a copy here.

Spoilers for Season 2, obviously.
Pairings: Kensei/Hiro, Adam/Peter (implied), Hiro/Ando (implied)

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Adam Monroe

February 2014

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