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I am not sure. Part of me is so full of rage that not even the world is large enough to hold it. Yet another part is very tired. It does not want to fight, but it has no strength to calm the rage. Then there is the guilt. It tells me I deserve every hurt you give me, that every new pain I inflict on you needs you to hurt me to make it right.

I love you. I hate you. And more than anything I hate myself.

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Adam Monroe

November 2020

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