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This time will be different.
He knows where he erred last time, where he went too far, where he let himself falter. He trusted the wrong people, and didn't trust those he should have. As furious as the world around him occasionally makes it, stepping back he's seen there is still good in it, and he feels like both Abraham and God arguing for the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah, searching for just ten righteous men to save the world.
Not that he cares much for righteousness, but in the reasons given him, again and again, and those that echo in his head, the analogy holds true and sure.
There are some he'd save, protect with all he has, but the rest...he tries to see what Peter sees in them, and all that comes to him is the constant patterns, repeating over and over again, stretching back across centuries and continuing unabated, increasing in their destructiveness, and while giving lip service to "progress" and moving forward, away from the ills of the annals of history, in truth doing nothing to correct them. War, famine, environmental degradation, new plagues, prejudice and inequality, religious persecution...he can't watch the news for fear of what he might do if he lets it all in to wash over him.
There cannot be salvation without radical change. The world is continuing on a hurtling path toward its own destruction, and someone has to step up and derail it, set it on a new course all together.
Sometimes he thinks he's the only one who sees it. No one else is stepping forward with any grand plan, nor any small one with a chance to grow, so it will have to be him, as he always has known it would be.
But this time will be different. He'll make certain of it.
He knows where he erred last time, where he went too far, where he let himself falter. He trusted the wrong people, and didn't trust those he should have. As furious as the world around him occasionally makes it, stepping back he's seen there is still good in it, and he feels like both Abraham and God arguing for the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah, searching for just ten righteous men to save the world.
Not that he cares much for righteousness, but in the reasons given him, again and again, and those that echo in his head, the analogy holds true and sure.
There are some he'd save, protect with all he has, but the rest...he tries to see what Peter sees in them, and all that comes to him is the constant patterns, repeating over and over again, stretching back across centuries and continuing unabated, increasing in their destructiveness, and while giving lip service to "progress" and moving forward, away from the ills of the annals of history, in truth doing nothing to correct them. War, famine, environmental degradation, new plagues, prejudice and inequality, religious persecution...he can't watch the news for fear of what he might do if he lets it all in to wash over him.
There cannot be salvation without radical change. The world is continuing on a hurtling path toward its own destruction, and someone has to step up and derail it, set it on a new course all together.
Sometimes he thinks he's the only one who sees it. No one else is stepping forward with any grand plan, nor any small one with a chance to grow, so it will have to be him, as he always has known it would be.
But this time will be different. He'll make certain of it.