[TM] 256 - What do you hope for?

Bali is sounding better and better. Or Fiji. Or Bora Bora.

Somewhere warm, with rum and no responsibility or people who stab you in the back when you're just trying to help them.

Why the fuck I thought I wanted any of this is beyond me.

Considering leaving a note: "Keys to Company are in the upper left hand drawer if you want them, Angie. Taking the cats. Off to Bali. Fuck all of this. Love, Adam."

I don't really think that would go over well, but I'm not sure I care anymore.

[locked]

If someone could remind me of why I'm even trying when it's an exercise in futility, I would appreciate it, because fuck if I know. I never wanted to grow up to be the hero, anyway. I just wanted to...I don't even remember anymore. It all got twisted up and tangled around in far too many pairs of brown eyes that wanted me to be things that I never was, and blue ones that believed I was something and then when I tried to be...

Well, she walked away, too, didn't she?

So, what, I ask you, is the fucking point of hoping for anything?

Fuck all of it.

I was better off being the villain, but now I'm just tired.

What do I hope for? A beach. And a drink with an umbrella in it. And someone to rub completely unnecessary suntan oil on my skin and live without their fucking expectations and their fucking betrayals for just a few decades, for once.

I don't think it's too much to ask.