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changehistoryI don't define it any one way in particular. I have been, and am capable of being, completely and utterly monogamous, and I have been involved in various forms of polyamory.
No, I take that back. I define being faithful as being honest about the terms of the relationship. As keeping faith with the promises you have made to your partners, whatever they may be.
If I am involved with more than one person, I tell my partners. I may not tell them every detail, may not tell them about the other person, because the other person rarely truly impacts us, but I will tell them there is someone else.
If someone asks me to be monogamous, and promises it in return, then if I promise they are the only one--they are the only one. I have never "cheated" on a partner, never committed that sort of a betrayal. I have made mistakes, yes. I'm not claiming to be perfect in relationships or anywhere else. In fact, in a lot of aspects, I fully admit that I am very bad at being someone's partner.
But when it comes to faithfulness...I have a deep desire to find out how we define it between us, myself and my partner(s), and keep to it. If it is emotional faithfulness--that we both may have other lovers, but no one that we truly love, all right. If it is a traditional definition of faithfulness, that there is no one else, emotionally or physically, for us, then all right. If we agree to be poly, that we love each other but acknowledge that we each love others as well, so be it.
That's not to say that I am always fine with any of those three options, or any other variation, all the time, or that it's whatever my partner wants. Sometimes I want more than the person I am involved with. There have been times in my life when I have been involved in relationships that fit each of the models. There have been times when I was the one asked for a commitment, and other times when I have asked for it, when I have wanted it to be just the two of us.
Ideally...that is where I am happiest. Male or female, but just two, no one else in the way, physically or emotionally. Call me a traditionalist.
But if all parties agree and are informed, I do not think that other forms of relationships mean someone is unfaithful. Faithfulness is keeping faith--keeping the promises one has made to someone else. And the only way to truly define it beyond that is between the people involved with each other. To do more would be to impose outside strictures on an intimate relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to do that.
No, I take that back. I define being faithful as being honest about the terms of the relationship. As keeping faith with the promises you have made to your partners, whatever they may be.
If I am involved with more than one person, I tell my partners. I may not tell them every detail, may not tell them about the other person, because the other person rarely truly impacts us, but I will tell them there is someone else.
If someone asks me to be monogamous, and promises it in return, then if I promise they are the only one--they are the only one. I have never "cheated" on a partner, never committed that sort of a betrayal. I have made mistakes, yes. I'm not claiming to be perfect in relationships or anywhere else. In fact, in a lot of aspects, I fully admit that I am very bad at being someone's partner.
But when it comes to faithfulness...I have a deep desire to find out how we define it between us, myself and my partner(s), and keep to it. If it is emotional faithfulness--that we both may have other lovers, but no one that we truly love, all right. If it is a traditional definition of faithfulness, that there is no one else, emotionally or physically, for us, then all right. If we agree to be poly, that we love each other but acknowledge that we each love others as well, so be it.
That's not to say that I am always fine with any of those three options, or any other variation, all the time, or that it's whatever my partner wants. Sometimes I want more than the person I am involved with. There have been times in my life when I have been involved in relationships that fit each of the models. There have been times when I was the one asked for a commitment, and other times when I have asked for it, when I have wanted it to be just the two of us.
Ideally...that is where I am happiest. Male or female, but just two, no one else in the way, physically or emotionally. Call me a traditionalist.
But if all parties agree and are informed, I do not think that other forms of relationships mean someone is unfaithful. Faithfulness is keeping faith--keeping the promises one has made to someone else. And the only way to truly define it beyond that is between the people involved with each other. To do more would be to impose outside strictures on an intimate relationship, and I don't think anyone has the right to do that.
