(no subject)

[changehistory]

Apparently computers can get infected with viruses, which is just bizarre.

Apparently mine has.

I keep getting windows popping up with all sorts of things I have no interest in seeing, let alone hearing.

How do I make it stop?



ooc: Coming out of discussion with Angela where she attempted to explain safe internet surfing and safe sex at the same time, both of which baffled Adam to no end.

Comments

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

The freeware virus scanner has a good reputation. I don't use their firewall so I don't know about that. Google doesn't either. Do you have the name right? If it was a few years ago, maybe they've fixed it since then.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Well, don't. The firewall has enough bugs to cause a Congressional meeting in a few years time.

Real question, though. Linux. I've managed to install a version of Ubuntu that I like onto a computer for my friend, Frobisher---penguin thing, it's actually quite amusing if you meet him. Anyway, he's living in this era, and I'm concerned by the lack of programs for it. Do you think they'll be releasing more, or should I just stick with giving him that Gates fellow's setup?

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

It depends what he wants to use the machine for. It has OpenOffice and FireFox as standard, Pidgin for messaging and GIMP for images, and good USB support for external drives and things. There's--

In a few years time?


...

You can see the future and your friend has a thing for penguins?

I'm not supposed to talk to strange men on the internet.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

No, nonononononono

I can go to the future, and my friend is a penguin. Well, actually he's a wifferdill, which makes him more of a penguin-shaped-shape-shifter. Rather nice fellow, actually. Leans on the side of the dramatic, but not always.

Strange, me? I'm strange? Well, a bit, I suppose.

I'm the Doctor.

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

You time travel with a shape-shifter.

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

I think it's possible he's insane. You might want to be careful. I've heard rumors he's a very dangerous man.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Oi, now. You don't know anything about me. I'm just trying to get some computer advice from the first human who seems to have a reasonable intellectual equivalent of myself in just around...oh, ever.

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Know, no. But I've heard things that make me very wary of letting you start filling a child's head with such tales. Abducting people. Locking them away without any due process. Playing prosecutor, judge and jury. I can handle myself talking to you, and am happy to do so, but you go off filling this child's head when he's vulnerable...it's not right.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

He's a child, yes, but I don't think he needs shielding. Seems a smart enough bloke. The children of my civilization would be insulted by a guardian telling them who they could or could not speak with.

And as a child? He doesn't need judging.

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

I didn't tell him he could not speak with. I gave him a warning of things I have heard about you. He, as you said, is a smart enough bloke and can make up his own mind about what to do with that information.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Who have you been talking to about me? I know my reputation goes a bit far and wide, but...really.

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Various and sundry people. Some love you beyond reasoning. Some despise you with a passion I've actually never seen in 400 years. Some things I've heard impressed me and some worried me more than a little. Men who are laws unto themselves make me wary, especially when they've no one there to check them.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

What can I say, I'm the sort to inspire loyalty and despis---they really despise me? That's sort of sad, I don't usually leave people who hate me in my wake. Well, unless you were talking to a Dalek. Or the Master. Or the Rani. Or...okay, maybe a few in my wake.

Why? Are you worried about the law?

[changehistory.livejournal.com]

Honestly you seem to irritate the Rani more than make her despise you. She's possibly the most middle ground opinion I've found.

No. I'm worried about men who think they are the law, imposing their own moral judgments on people and societies not their own.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Well, the Rani and I have always had an understanding, I think. I get to annoy her and she gets to not kill people on Earth. Which isn't really an understanding, now that I think about it.

I don't impose. I just enforce right and wrong. Not really that much different no matter what planet you're on. Right and wrong still stand.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Not anymore. He's gone back into being a private investigator. Which is why he needs a computer. He keeps losing track of his clients. Not that he's a bad private investigator.

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

Okay.

Like I said, OpenOffice is standard, so that gets you your word processor and your spreadsheet programs. There's a PGP port, I think, if he needs more encryption. I don't really know what else a private investigating penguin would need.

Except maybe hands?! o_O?!?!

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Mostly it's the people-searching programs that he needs. I pretend to understand what exactly he does, but I think it's mostly about cheating husbands or whatever. He tries desperately to cloud himself in mystery and it winds up making the entire room coughably foggy.

Right, let me get this down, though. I'd give you his e-mail address, but I'd rather he think I knew all of this about what he wants. What about video processing and photographic processing? I've seen a couple of betas, but nothing user-friendly enough for him.

Shape-shifter! He shifts in hands when he needs them!

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

GIMP is pretty straightforward if you've used Photoshop before and it's standard, so that covers photos. I don't know about video processing. There's a VLC port for playing things, and that has built in contrast/gamma controls. There's ManDVD if you just want to turn .mpgs and .avis into .vco for burning. LiVES or Kino libraries exist for editing digital video, and they have (somewhat limited) post-processing capabilities. Getting a high resolution digital camera in the first place would probably be easier than trying to use complicated tools on poor film.

Oh, right. That makes sense.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Right, got it.

No, I give up. I'm used to computers I can actually talk to, this one is driving me bananas. And not the good sort of bananas, either.

Now, this is going to sound a bit straightforward being over the internet and all that, but can I get you to come over to this shop and work on this? I'm sure Frobisher'll pay you, and you can bring your folks, nothing weird or anything. I'm just tired of having an irritable penguin asking me if it's done yet. We're just inside of London, I can potentially get you here in five minutes, depending on what year you're in.

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

I don't think that is such a good idea. I might be pretending to be me when instead I'm a brain eating serial killer or something. By which I mean, YOU might want to eat my brains. Or worse!

If you really need help, and you can really travel in time, I could set up a postbox and you could ship it to me last week so it's already here, I could do it up and send it back. You'd have to pay the shipping your end for both ways.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not possible to ship it to you last week now, because we've already had this conversation. Cause a bit of paradoxing, won't it? I could send it to you now and meet up with you in a week when it's finished, but the possibility of the TARDIS missing the mark on that's fairly high. But no, no, I understand. Big scary Sylars out there, don't want me to be one of them.

Right, how about this? Anywhere in the universe any time. You tell me to be there, I'll tell you what's going on. Can be sixty years ago or six minutes from now.

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

If you sent it to me now, it wouldn't get to me for a week, but if you'd already posted it in the past, it wouldn't be a paradox so long as I don't pick the computer up until after this conversation, right?

Can you tell me tonight's lottery numbers?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Right, that's brilliant!

The computer should be arriving momentarily. I sent it express and it's going to need your signature. I also put a printed-out copy of this conversation in it.

I could, but I only use that in case of dire emergencies, like when I need to usurp someone's teaching job or something.

[technoscope.livejournal.com]

Okay. I'll sort it out and send it back collect.

I wasn't going to buy a ticket. Anyway, I'm too young to legally.